Rachel Wammack, “Damage”

The debut single from Sony Nashville powerhouse Rachel Wammack is a lyrical masterpiece. Wammack sounds a bit like Carrie Underwood, and her voice is one of the main assets that makes this song so great. Another exemplary facet of this song is how well she sells the emotion of the song and tells a riveting, compelling story. As someone who has had her fair share of experiences with love, I really connected to “Damage”, enough to where I was in tears by the end of the song. The only minor issue is the production, as I think a bit more steel guitar would be very beneficial. I doubt this will be a hit as country radio generally refuses female artists, actual country music or anything of remote substance, but I’m rooting for Rachel. This song deserves to be a hit. Rachel should be proud of herself for this song, as it is fantastic. In a just world, she’d be a star.
GRADE: 8.5/10

Carlton Anderson, “Drop Everything”

Speaking of a just world, Carlton Anderson should also be a star. The debut single from Anderson is the type of music that should be on country radio.  The song details the narrator approaching a girl at the bar who is having trouble with her boyfriend, when the narrator asks her to “drop everything” and come home with him.  Although a bit weak lyrically and thematically, as we’ve heard this story half a dozen times, what the song lacks, it more than makes up for in the other categories. Sonically, it’s awesome. For those of you who have been introduced to country music through Sam Hunt, Kane Brown, and FGL, that thing you’re hearing is called a fiddle, and it sounds amazing. The production sounds like something straight out of Jon Pardi’s playbook, and that’s a compliment coming from me considering that I am a huge fan of his. Carlton is an excellent vocalist; take Josh Turner’s voice and bump it up a few octaves, and you’ve got Carlton Anderson. On top of those strong points, I’m willing to argue that this is the most fun song that has hit mainstream country radio in months. It’s one of those infectious songs that will have you singing along in no time at all. Unfortunately, I don’t look for this to be a big hit, due to the people running that Mickey Mouse operation so affectionately called “country radio”, who don’t think the general listening public actually want to hear country music. Newsflash: we do. Since Carlton Anderson leans more squarely towards early-mid 2000’s neotraditional country goodness instead of pop bullshit, he will be one of the few male artists country radio will most likely ignore, and that fact really sucks, because in a just world, he would be a major star. While radio isn’t likely to eat this up, fans of Pardi, Turner, and actual country music in general will love this. Because THIS is what we should be hearing on country radio, not Kane Brown, Bebe Rexha, Sam Hunt, and the like.
GRADE: 7.5/10

Walker Hayes, “90’s Country”

Can we please trade this guy for the 2011 version of Walker Hayes? My personal hands-down winner of “Worst Album of 2017” (I dare you guys to listen to “Boom.” and tell me how far you get through it. Just kidding. But I am curious.) and runner-up of “Worst Song of 2017” (He would have won if not for the monster impact of Sam Hunt’s “Body Like a Back Road”; don’t get me wrong, Sam Hunt’s abomination is horrible, but what Hayes put out last year was one million times worse) for the god-awful “You Broke Up With Me”. After the seemingly commercial failure of “Boom.”, Hayes is back with a song about 90’s country music—which has absolutely fucking nothing to do with 90’s country music. It’s another mindless pop song with a ton of name drops. I can imagine Hayes and Shane McAnally’s meeting regarding this song went something like this:

Walker Hayes: Yo Shane!
Shane McAnally: What Walker?
WH: You know what would be a great idea for a country radio hit?
SM: Whatcha thinking about, Walker?
WH: A lot of people seem to be nostalgic for the country music of the 90s. I know! Let’s name drop a bunch of song titles and set them to a beat! It’ll be great, Shane! Just great!!
SM: *Sees dollar signs*
WH: *Googles “popular 90s country hits*
5 minutes later, this clusterfuck of a song is born.

Basically, Walker Hayes just name-drops a bunch of country hits from the 90s, and some of the lyrics are just so cringe-worthy (girl, you know you think my tractor’s sexy). However, kudos to Hayes for referencing “Jukebox Junkie” (a semi-obscure Ken Mellons hit) and for the song being catchy. With that being said, “90’s Country” still sucks.
GRADE: 1/10

RaeLynn, “Tailgate”

I would love to live in a world in which we can enjoy female voices on country radio. Carrie, Miranda, Ashley Monroe, Kacey Musgraves, Aubrie Sellers, Ashley McBryde, Sunny Sweeney, Margo Price, Angaleena Presley, Brandy Clark, Lori McKenna, Ashley Campbell, Lee Ann Womack, Sara Evans, Reba, Cam, Carly Pearce, Rachel Wammack, Tenille Arts, Tenille Townes, Mickey Guyton, Maren Morris (arguably), Maddie and Tae, and Runaway June are all awesome, unique, and should have a place on country radio. We need to hear more from the strong female perspective on country radio, and the ladies I just listed would be the ones to deliver on that promise. RaeLynn could be a great addition to these ladies, as she did give us the awesome “Love Triangle” in 2017. However, this perspective shown to us in “Tailgate” is exactly what we don’t need. In short, this is just female bro-country (and to mention, “Tailgate” was written by one of the ever-so-lovely founders of bro-country, Tyler Hubbard himself, and bro-country has-been Canaan Smith as well). (The extent of female bro-country is demonstrated even further with the video, which will most likely make your blood boil, fair warning). Honestly, RaeLynn, bro-country is so 2013. This shit should have gone away at least four years ago. RaeLynn is talented, but you sure wouldn’t know it from this offering. “Tailgate” is absolutely terrible and immature, and is honestly not even worth your time.
GRADE: 0/10

Lauren Alaina, “Ladies in the 90’s”

Guys, this is it. We have officially hit below rock bottom in mainstream country music. This right here is one of the worst songs you will hear all year, right next to Bebe Rexha and FGL’s “Meant to Be”, Morgan Wallen/FGL’s “Up Down”, and Kassi Ashton’s “Taxidermy”. This is the kind of shit that makes Walker Hayes listenable, and makes Sam Hunt sound like George Strait. And what a damn shame this is, because last year, Lauren Alaina delivered one of my favorite albums of 2017 with Road Less Traveled. This is nothing short of horrid and embarrassing, and is sure to piss off any true fan of country music. I would rather listen to “Body Like a Back Road” on repeat for an entire month than to ever here this clusterfuck again. The lyrics and production of this thing are bottom of the barrel. “So I can sing all night long, acting like I’m Britney”? Really, Lauren? Girl, have some pride. Referencing Britney Spears in a country song just shouldn’t happen. Like Walker Hayes, Alaina references and name-drops some of the most cliché songs of the 90’s (although Cowboy Take Me Away is amazing and Fancy isn’t half bad either). But unlike Hayes, she doesn’t stick to just country—she references straight up pop songs—in what is supposed to be a country song. Also unlike Hayes, this isn’t catchy at all. It’s flat-out horrible on all ends. The production sounds like a cross between some song you’d hear on a Disney Channel tween program and the annoying background music at Chuck E. Cheese, when you’re stuck at your little cousin’s birthday party with a horde of sugar-crazed, pizza-stuffing, screaming, bouncing off the walls six-year-olds. Lauren, if your heart will always be stuck in the 90’s, why don’t you build yourself a time machine and take yourself back. Maybe Lee Ann Womack, Trisha Yearwood, and Patty Loveless will teach you how to make some quality country music. I was previously a fan of Alaina’s before this and her duet with the scourge of 2018 mainstream country, Kane Brown, and I am extremely disappointed. Look, I’m all for more women on country radio. I’d love that. I’d love if country radio was dominated by women. But I’m begging you, people on social media and people on country radio, for the love of God, Please. Stop. Trying. To. Make. “Ladies. In. The. 90’s”. A. Thing. Instead of rallying around this steaming heap of trash, we should be rallying around the Pistol Annies and their great new single, “Got My Name Changed Back”. This song is absolutely horrible, and Lauren Alaina is much better than this. Hopefully, the album will be much better, but when this is what you’ve got to work with for a lead single…and you say yourself that it is your “favorite single you’ve ever done”…it doesn’t look too promising.
GRADE: 0/10