Tag Archives: Walker Hayes

Amanda’s Radio Single Round-Up: Part 2

Rachel Wammack, “Damage”

The debut single from Sony Nashville powerhouse Rachel Wammack is a lyrical masterpiece. Wammack sounds a bit like Carrie Underwood, and her voice is one of the main assets that makes this song so great. Another exemplary facet of this song is how well she sells the emotion of the song and tells a riveting, compelling story. As someone who has had her fair share of experiences with love, I really connected to “Damage”, enough to where I was in tears by the end of the song. The only minor issue is the production, as I think a bit more steel guitar would be very beneficial. I doubt this will be a hit as country radio generally refuses female artists, actual country music or anything of remote substance, but I’m rooting for Rachel. This song deserves to be a hit. Rachel should be proud of herself for this song, as it is fantastic. In a just world, she’d be a star.
GRADE: 8.5/10

Carlton Anderson, “Drop Everything”

Speaking of a just world, Carlton Anderson should also be a star. The debut single from Anderson is the type of music that should be on country radio.  The song details the narrator approaching a girl at the bar who is having trouble with her boyfriend, when the narrator asks her to “drop everything” and come home with him.  Although a bit weak lyrically and thematically, as we’ve heard this story half a dozen times, what the song lacks, it more than makes up for in the other categories. Sonically, it’s awesome. For those of you who have been introduced to country music through Sam Hunt, Kane Brown, and FGL, that thing you’re hearing is called a fiddle, and it sounds amazing. The production sounds like something straight out of Jon Pardi’s playbook, and that’s a compliment coming from me considering that I am a huge fan of his. Carlton is an excellent vocalist; take Josh Turner’s voice and bump it up a few octaves, and you’ve got Carlton Anderson. On top of those strong points, I’m willing to argue that this is the most fun song that has hit mainstream country radio in months. It’s one of those infectious songs that will have you singing along in no time at all. Unfortunately, I don’t look for this to be a big hit, due to the people running that Mickey Mouse operation so affectionately called “country radio”, who don’t think the general listening public actually want to hear country music. Newsflash: we do. Since Carlton Anderson leans more squarely towards early-mid 2000’s neotraditional country goodness instead of pop bullshit, he will be one of the few male artists country radio will most likely ignore, and that fact really sucks, because in a just world, he would be a major star. While radio isn’t likely to eat this up, fans of Pardi, Turner, and actual country music in general will love this. Because THIS is what we should be hearing on country radio, not Kane Brown, Bebe Rexha, Sam Hunt, and the like.
GRADE: 7.5/10

Walker Hayes, “90’s Country”

Can we please trade this guy for the 2011 version of Walker Hayes? My personal hands-down winner of “Worst Album of 2017” (I dare you guys to listen to “Boom.” and tell me how far you get through it. Just kidding. But I am curious.) and runner-up of “Worst Song of 2017” (He would have won if not for the monster impact of Sam Hunt’s “Body Like a Back Road”; don’t get me wrong, Sam Hunt’s abomination is horrible, but what Hayes put out last year was one million times worse) for the god-awful “You Broke Up With Me”. After the seemingly commercial failure of “Boom.”, Hayes is back with a song about 90’s country music—which has absolutely fucking nothing to do with 90’s country music. It’s another mindless pop song with a ton of name drops. I can imagine Hayes and Shane McAnally’s meeting regarding this song went something like this:

Walker Hayes: Yo Shane!
Shane McAnally: What Walker?
WH: You know what would be a great idea for a country radio hit?
SM: Whatcha thinking about, Walker?
WH: A lot of people seem to be nostalgic for the country music of the 90s. I know! Let’s name drop a bunch of song titles and set them to a beat! It’ll be great, Shane! Just great!!
SM: *Sees dollar signs*
WH: *Googles “popular 90s country hits*
5 minutes later, this clusterfuck of a song is born.

Basically, Walker Hayes just name-drops a bunch of country hits from the 90s, and some of the lyrics are just so cringe-worthy (girl, you know you think my tractor’s sexy). However, kudos to Hayes for referencing “Jukebox Junkie” (a semi-obscure Ken Mellons hit) and for the song being catchy. With that being said, “90’s Country” still sucks.
GRADE: 1/10

RaeLynn, “Tailgate”

I would love to live in a world in which we can enjoy female voices on country radio. Carrie, Miranda, Ashley Monroe, Kacey Musgraves, Aubrie Sellers, Ashley McBryde, Sunny Sweeney, Margo Price, Angaleena Presley, Brandy Clark, Lori McKenna, Ashley Campbell, Lee Ann Womack, Sara Evans, Reba, Cam, Carly Pearce, Rachel Wammack, Tenille Arts, Tenille Townes, Mickey Guyton, Maren Morris (arguably), Maddie and Tae, and Runaway June are all awesome, unique, and should have a place on country radio. We need to hear more from the strong female perspective on country radio, and the ladies I just listed would be the ones to deliver on that promise. RaeLynn could be a great addition to these ladies, as she did give us the awesome “Love Triangle” in 2017. However, this perspective shown to us in “Tailgate” is exactly what we don’t need. In short, this is just female bro-country (and to mention, “Tailgate” was written by one of the ever-so-lovely founders of bro-country, Tyler Hubbard himself, and bro-country has-been Canaan Smith as well). (The extent of female bro-country is demonstrated even further with the video, which will most likely make your blood boil, fair warning). Honestly, RaeLynn, bro-country is so 2013. This shit should have gone away at least four years ago. RaeLynn is talented, but you sure wouldn’t know it from this offering. “Tailgate” is absolutely terrible and immature, and is honestly not even worth your time.
GRADE: 0/10

Lauren Alaina, “Ladies in the 90’s”

Guys, this is it. We have officially hit below rock bottom in mainstream country music. This right here is one of the worst songs you will hear all year, right next to Bebe Rexha and FGL’s “Meant to Be”, Morgan Wallen/FGL’s “Up Down”, and Kassi Ashton’s “Taxidermy”. This is the kind of shit that makes Walker Hayes listenable, and makes Sam Hunt sound like George Strait. And what a damn shame this is, because last year, Lauren Alaina delivered one of my favorite albums of 2017 with Road Less Traveled. This is nothing short of horrid and embarrassing, and is sure to piss off any true fan of country music. I would rather listen to “Body Like a Back Road” on repeat for an entire month than to ever here this clusterfuck again. The lyrics and production of this thing are bottom of the barrel. “So I can sing all night long, acting like I’m Britney”? Really, Lauren? Girl, have some pride. Referencing Britney Spears in a country song just shouldn’t happen. Like Walker Hayes, Alaina references and name-drops some of the most cliché songs of the 90’s (although Cowboy Take Me Away is amazing and Fancy isn’t half bad either). But unlike Hayes, she doesn’t stick to just country—she references straight up pop songs—in what is supposed to be a country song. Also unlike Hayes, this isn’t catchy at all. It’s flat-out horrible on all ends. The production sounds like a cross between some song you’d hear on a Disney Channel tween program and the annoying background music at Chuck E. Cheese, when you’re stuck at your little cousin’s birthday party with a horde of sugar-crazed, pizza-stuffing, screaming, bouncing off the walls six-year-olds. Lauren, if your heart will always be stuck in the 90’s, why don’t you build yourself a time machine and take yourself back. Maybe Lee Ann Womack, Trisha Yearwood, and Patty Loveless will teach you how to make some quality country music. I was previously a fan of Alaina’s before this and her duet with the scourge of 2018 mainstream country, Kane Brown, and I am extremely disappointed. Look, I’m all for more women on country radio. I’d love that. I’d love if country radio was dominated by women. But I’m begging you, people on social media and people on country radio, for the love of God, Please. Stop. Trying. To. Make. “Ladies. In. The. 90’s”. A. Thing. Instead of rallying around this steaming heap of trash, we should be rallying around the Pistol Annies and their great new single, “Got My Name Changed Back”. This song is absolutely horrible, and Lauren Alaina is much better than this. Hopefully, the album will be much better, but when this is what you’ve got to work with for a lead single…and you say yourself that it is your “favorite single you’ve ever done”…it doesn’t look too promising.
GRADE: 0/10

The “Real Country” debate and Other Musings: a Collaboration with the Musical divide

So I was having a discussion on Twitter today with Zack of The Musical Divide about Kacey Musgraves’ new album and all the mixed reactions to it. It seems to be a completely polarizing release, and that’s sparked the age-old debate about “real country,” in this case whether or not Musgraves is tired of the genre. We agreed that she’s not, and although not traditional, Golden Hour is still a country record, and that people dismissing it immediately for not being country enough aren’t taking the time to really form their own opinions about the music. We decided that we both really had a lot to say about this, so we had a proper discussion and made one of our Twitter musings into a worthwhile, enlightening conversation. You can read that below.

Zack: I’ll pose a question to start this off – what to you defines “country music?”

Megan: I define it by honesty in storytelling, lyrics about real life and real people. I do look for signature sounds like fiddle and pedal steel, but those are secondary for me. Still, if I hear instruments like that, I consider them country elements of a song.

Z: I always thought it was something like that too, but these days, I don’t know. Do you think saying that something isn’t “country” is a worthy critique in and of itself?

M: I think it’s a worthy critique when stuff is sent to country radio for sure. Like, Zac Brown Band’s “Beautiful Drug” can be criticized for not being country because he admitted to it being an EDM song and then sent it to country radio. But I also think it’s becoming a blanket criticism for stuff we don’t like. I think you and I can agree Golden Hour has lots of country to it, but a lot of people are just dismissing it out of hand. It’s fine not to like it, and it’s obviously not traditional, but it’s becoming a really lame excuse to not like something.

Z: I agree. I think it’s a matter of people not really owning up to a full opinion. Saying it’s not country is an easy cop-out, and if that’s why you don’t like it, fine, but tell me how that makes it “bad.” Is the lyricism weak? Are the vocals not there? Albums like Musgraves’ always present the ugliness of this debate, when in reality, Musgraves meant to unite rather than divide.

The thing is with this conversation, there’s material that seems like it’s pretty obvious as to what genre it belongs under such as Sam Hunt or Walker Hayes’ material. However, I think we’re starting to see that card played out *too* much, to the point where the only stuff that can only be counted as “Country” is material that rips directly from the past.

Do you think Country music is restrictive in that regard? Or no?

M: You’re right, I think people have gotten to where they hear something like Golden Hour, and they don’t like it, which is fine. It’s halfway there, forming your own opinion about something. But it’s easy for them to say it’s not country enough instead of really thinking about the music. One comparison I keep coming back to is Starfire by Caitlyn Smith. I mean, would you say that’s country? A lot of these same people love that record, which is again fine, but they call it country pop, and for me, it’s way less country than Golden Hour. I remember even telling you that when it came out, that I felt like it was almost out of my lane completely because it was so pop. To answer your other question, I don’t think country is a restrictive genre–look at Marty Stuart’s Way Out West, for example–but I think purists are making it restrictive and putting unnecessary limits on it. I’d be curious as to your take on that as well since you try to avoid the “real country” argument and embrace a lot of genre-bending stuff.

Z: Would I say Caitlyn Smith’s latest album, Starfire is Country? That’s the million dollar question. Or rather, just one of them. I don’t know the answer to that. I think there’s a way for the songs or albums to not necessarily fit the sounds of the genre and yet still fit within somehow. For example, “This Town Is Killin’ Me” is about her struggles in Nashville, and some of those songs like “East Side Restaurant” and “House Of Cards” are dripping with real, honest emotion.

However, I think comparing which album is “more country” is frankly, pretty stupid. Let’s instead argue which one is better, because thankfully that line were trying to draw with genre can’t possibly be drawn with an opinion. We can only offer a perspective and see what the other side thinks (and vice versa).

It’s hard to answer your second question. Do I think it’s true? Yes, but all I really have to go on are random Internet comments I see on social media or other blogs’ comments sections. I think something like Way Out West is a type of rare album, but it’s also hard to say in that instance whether Stuart is getting a pass for actually making genre-bending music or because he’s simply a legend we respect and wouldn’t dare touch.

It’s amazing though, Country oriented sites will gladly talk about acts like Blackberry Smoke or Whiskey Myers, and on the other end of the spectrum, someone more Pop leaning such as Glen Campbell is viewed as aces with the crowd.

And of course, there’s a huge difference between Pop-Country like Glen Campbell and Pop-Country like Walker Hayes, but who am I to say? That would only be my opinion and nothing more. I have no evidence because that line is so murky.

M: I can’t believe you’ve just written a sentence containing Glen Campbell and Walker Hayes…shouldn’t there be some sort of law against this? You raise a good point, though, that country-oriented sites/blogs/whatever seem to be more accepting of rock influences than of pop ones. It kind of makes sense because rock is musically closer to country, but still, you can make a case that Blackberry Smoke and even Jason Isbell are less country sonically than some of the stuff on Golden Hour, so the disconnect with listeners is interesting. As for which is better, for me personally, I prefer Golden Hour to Starfire even with the killer songwriting on Starfire, and it’s precisely because as a listener, I like stuff like “Love is a Wild Thing,” where you hear modern production with pedal steel. But that’s just me, and it’s not a right or wrong opinion. Similarly, it’s not right or wrong to prefer Starfire. I just don’t think you can actually say you don’t like Golden Hour because it isn’t country and then call Starfire a country pop record because to me, it proves you don’t actually have a complete opinion about why you don’t like Golden Hour. That’s the most important thing about being a music listener, just forming your own opinion and having the intelligence to back it up. Like, I don’t care if you think Walker Hayes is God’s gift to country music if you can actually defend that viewpoint and make me think about why you feel that way.

Z: Those are all great points. The key is to simply become a better music listener at the end of the day. On that note, I don’t have criticism for just traditionalists. It makes me mad to see supporters of the extreme kind of Country (Hayes, Hunt…etc) completely write off anyone who doesn’t like them as someone who can’t “get with the times.” It’s in these moments where I’d like to interject how neither artist (and certain artists beyond) fits in the genre, and yet if I’m going to hold tight to my other perspective, it’s a tricky stance to take. Still, I like when Country music drives itself forward to form something new that pulls from the past and blends it with the new. Anyone who dislikes the aforementioned artists though is just seen as someone who can’t handle Country music evolving, and the truth is, I think it’s stuck in a rut spinning its wheels because of it.

You hear all the time now how artists want to expand their sound, and sometimes I can’t blame them. I mean, Eric Church still receives comment that he’s a “Pop” star in 2018. Rock? Yeah, definitely. Not Country? I don’t fully agree but I get where you’re coming from? But Pop?!? To artists I think it just signals that certain fans have a preferred box they want those artists to be in, and the artists aren’t allowed to do anything except what they want.

That’s the tricky part about the business. We’re the customers, and the artists are the “products.” If I don’t like my iPhone5, Apple makes something better. Artists are real human beings though that have their own visions.

In the case of Kacey Musgraves, when she announced that her new album wouldn’t be as “Country” as her previous ones, while the frustration is understandable, a proper response is “alright, that disappoints me” rather than say, “he or she can’t do that!” At the end of the day, we’re all going to feel what we feel about the music, but there’s a difference between not being a fan of the artist’s choice and not being a fan who want said artist to be happy.

M: Yeah, exactly, your last point makes me go back to Zac Brown for a second. As a fan, I was ecstatic that he was going back to the band’s original sound with Welcome Home. But his heart wasn’t in it, and you can hear that all over it. It makes it the ZBB album I listen to the least. I’m not saying I’d be a fan of his EDM stuff, but if he wants to do that, then let him be happy. I heard more of his passion on Sir Rosevelt as far as that goes. Anyway, I agree, I have a definite problem with the newer artists who assume we all want everything to sound like Hank and Waylon just because we don’t like them. And I get where you’re coming from about it being a difficult line to walk, but actually I think you can pretty easily make the case some of those artists don’t belong in the genre at all. Obviously they don’t sound country, but it’s more than that. Their lyrics aren’t real or honest either, you can’t argue that anything Walker Hayes has ever done has the depth of emotion that you just argued for with Caitlyn Smith. I think the problem with those artists is they’re so obviously just trying to cash in with country. They’re not real, they’re not honest, they’re not anything that relates to what I said when I defined country music. Take out all the accepted country sounds as well, and it’s like adding insult to injury.

Z: Exactly. Personally I liked Welcome Home more than the Sir Rosevelt project, but if I had to pick which avenue Brown should go down, I’d definitely say EDM. Just stop trying to call it Country when you blatantly said it wouldn’t be that. That’s an exception to the rule for me, mostly because the artist themselves have admitted what genre it is.

Walker Hayes is an interesting predicament, because I think people would counter your point with a song like “Craig”, and to be fair, the message is strong, but it’s presented in a childish fashion, whereas Country is more of a mature genre.

Cashing in is definitely a popular sentiment. I mean, go back and listen to Hayes’ songs “Pants” or “Why Wait For Summer”; they easily fit the mold of early 2010’s Country. His new stuff sounds like a Macklemore meets Sam Hunt knockoff, and at that point it’s hard to tell what his true intentions are.

M: Yeah, I’ll give you that, “Craig” might be the exception. Still, his older stuff is completely different to his new album as you pointed out. He’s clearly adapted himself to whatever he thinks will sell. And as we’ve been discussing, expanding yourself as an artist is fine, and you should. But with Walker, you honestly can’t even tell they’re the same person. That’s not artistic growth at that point, it’s just trend-chasing.

Z: Well if nothing else, at least we’ve established that – the difference between art and commercial fluff. Still, I’m curious. Who would you say really is “traditional country” sounding today?

M: Truly traditional country? Jason Eady. Ags Connolly. Vivian Leva also just released a really traditional album. Joshua Hedley might be about to do so as well, but we’ll have to wait for the whole album. Zephaniah OHora, although to be really technical and nerdy, he would be countrypolitan. Courtney Patton, I almost forgot to mention her, and she’s released one of my favorite albums this year. I’m sure I’m leaving out some really obvious names. But with all the subgenres country is splitting into, there really aren’t that many “traditional-sounding” ones left. Who would you consider really traditional? I know I have to be leaving obvious people out.

Z: To use this answer again – I’d have no idea. Unfortunately I think you could make arguments for all of them being more “folk” singers than anything else. I consider those first three artists as Country artists who are making really great modern Country, but with Hedley and O’Hora, it’s fine and all, but notice how it’s a carbon copy of music of the past. That’s not bad on principle – O’Hora made one of my favorite songs last year, and I’m looking forward to Hedley’s album, but it goes back to that point of many artists not being accepted as “real” country until they literally pull from that well that artists of the past did.

M: Yes, I agree. And carbon copies of the past won’t ultimately move the genre forward. There is a lot of great modern country, from Red Dirt to Americana to pop country, but the ones I mentioned are the most “traditional” ones I can think of. I think you can make a folk argument for some of Connolly’s music and Leva’s too, but Jason Eady I’d disagree, that’s straight-up, three-chord country. Still, if we have only one or only a handful of true traditionalist artists, it’s further proof that we have to embrace the forward-thinking stuff because ultimately, we want country music, or I call it our beloved country music a lot on CE, to survive. And putting limitations on it will kill it as quickly as letting in the Sam Hunts of the world.

I think to that end, it’s important for older listeners and fans of that traditional style to introduce their children to good modern country. For example, maybe you don’t like Maddie & Tae, but your granddaughter might, so you come together over that, and she gets that passion for country music. That’s far better than wishing it would all revert back to Haggard and Jones and leaving her to listen to Hunt and Hayes. It might not always be your type of country, but it’s important for traditionalists to open themselves up to the good modern country and pass it down so that country music lives on.

Z: Right, I’m not saying it would be my argument, but I could totally see someone coming up with some asinine excuse for why Eady isn’t “real” Country. I don’t know, that’s just the vibe I get, but maybe I’m reading too many Internet comments! I think you said it all with your last comment, Megan. I’m not sure what else to add, but I think this conversation has certainly been enlightening. It’s a tough question to really answer, and ultimately I’m not sure I’ll ever get it, but I think thankfully there’s an artist for everyone in the Country genre right now, so instead of arguing about what they are, let’s have discussions on their music. Those seem more fun, even though I did have fun with this particular conversation.

M: I had a lot of fun also, and I think that you said it perfectly when you said there’s someone in the genre for everyone. Today, we got releases from Lindi Ortega, Kacey Musgraves, Red Shahan, and Ashley McBryde, all carrying the torch for country music, all doing it completely differently, and, in my opinion, all releasing really kickass albums. So instead of arguing over which of them has more country cred, let’s go listen to all that good music. Thanks for the discussion, I always love exploring stuff like this.

Album Review: Walker Hayes–Boom

Country Rating: -1/10
Overall Rating: 1/10

You think that negative rating is a joke, or a hyperbole, or at the very least an attention-getting device. No, it’s a reflection of how absurd it is that we’ve reached a point in time where we’re actually calling this country. I shouldn’t even have to comment on this album at all because it is so far out of my lane, so far removed from anything closely resembling music that I feel qualified to speak on, and yet that’s exactly why I’m compelled to call bullshit on this. Merle Haggard, Don Williams, and yes, even the more modern-sounding Troy Gentry are all rolling over in their graves somewhere right now from the knowledge that we’ve massacred country music like this. I dare you, any of you, to listen to anything from this record and tell me how it in any way, shape, or form resembles anything close to country. I dare you to tell me how you’d know, if listening to any one of these tracks, you were listening to a country radio station. It’s even worse than Sam Hunt because hell, at least Hunt was original. Granted, his spoken word/singing crap was and is a terrible idea, but original it was; Walker Hayes is the wannabe who can neither sing nor rap with even half the charisma of Hunt…and shame on country music for allowing itself to be tampered with this way; no other genre has so little self-respect, but country is forever in this identity crisis. God forbid people actually think we’re “too” country, so we let in shit like this.

The first half of this album is absolutely, mind-blowingly, shockingly awful. We start with “Beautiful,” which isn’t the worst thing here, but it’s essentially Walker missing an ex for well, we don’t ever really get too much of a reason except that she’s physically beautiful. So, potentially good idea turned basically into a shallow piece of crap that ultimately says nothing. OH, and I’ve mentioned this, but he cannot sing. “Shut up Kenny” is one of the worst things here–he’s driving around sick of hearing Kenny Chesney’s music because it reminds him of an ex, but instead of, I don’t know, turning off the radio, he just continues to yell at Kenny to shut up. He does contemplate ripping the radio out of the dash, though, which would somehow be easier than turning it off, I suppose. And then we have the ultimate douche anthem, the infamous single “You Broke up With Me.” Worst single of the year no doubt. The narrator here is just a completely self-absorbed jackass, and also, adding to the bad singing and bad rapping, we now have bad whistling. I’ll give “Halloween” credit for the idea it was going for, taking off masks and revealing yourself to the one you love, but the total lack of personality and his complete inability to rap make this pretty unlistenable as well.

And then this first half comes to the ultimate, horrifying conclusion of “Dollar Store.” Now, this, I think, at least knows that it’s stupid. At least I hope it does because if not, this singlehandedly proves Walker’s total lack of self-awareness. I think it knows it’s idiotic, though; it’s essentially a song about being dirt poor and going to the dollar store–“down to the dollar store, buy you whatever you holler for” would be an embarrassing enough line on its own, but someone needs to tell this guy that in country music, we put r’s in “store” and “for.” This song honestly could have been written in an actual country way, minus the stupid lyrics about being a sugar daddy and without all the urban phrasing, and been pitched to someone like Brad Paisley, and we’d all probably enjoy it. As it is, words cannot describe the horror and stupidity of this track…and yet, it’s not even the worst thing on this album.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves because at track 6, and yes, I’m as surprised as you are, we actually find a song that isn’t immediately horrible. Two, in fact. “Beer in the Fridge” is a heartbreak song, and he’s basically fighting a war with himself over whether to drink his last beer. He gave up drinking for the ex, but she’s also the reason he wants to be drunk. He still can’t sing, but I’ll give this song credit for actually being well-written and also for not making him sound like a giant douche. “Beckett” is pretty obnoxious, but again, he doesn’t sound like a complete douche, as he’s describing his child’s innocence and acceptance of people and saying he wishes he were more like that. I find this one pretty annoying and sappy, but it should be given a bit of credit for the idea. I don’t have much to say about “Mind Candy,” as it’s essentially Beautiful Part 2. It’s a terrible song as well, but after some of the earlier tracks, I can’t be shocked by this point…except for the fact he manages to name-drop Willie Nelson here in the most disgusting instance of blasphemy on one of these “country” records I’ve ever heard. Still, nothing can be as bad as what I’ve already suffered through on the opening half, right?

“Prescriptions” arrives to toss that ill-conceived theory right out the window. If this is released in 2018, I will tell you now that it will be the worst single of that year and quite possibly many years to come. This is another douche anthem, and I can’t even believe this is possible, but this guy is even more of a jackass than the “You Broke UP With Me” dude. He opens this thing by declaring that he’s trying to be mature about his break up and seeing his ex with someone else…okay, maybe this is possible given “Beer in the fridge,” but doubtful given “You Broke up With Me.” Then we get the most creepily detailed list of shit he’d like to happen to her…he wants her and her boyfriend to be drunk and half asleep one night, her to accidentally say his name instead of the new guy, them to fight about it, the boyfriend not to be able to get over it even though she promises him that it meant nothing, their entire relationship to crumble, them to seek therapy, and the therapist to have nothing to offer but prescriptions…if that doesn’t say mature, friends, I don’t know what does. OH, I should say that he adds that he was kidding, kinda.

Again, I’ll give credit where it’s due, and after the incredibly hate-filled song we’ve just been subjected to, it’s hard to imagine the next and final song would actually be mature and feature an example of love and kindness. This one is personal to Walker Hayes and describes Craig, a man he met in church who helped them out when the family was struggling and needed money. It’s a good illustration of a man living out his faith, and the personal details do add to this. It’s still not country by any stretch of anyone’s imagination, but this is actually a pretty good song in its rightful genre. It’s also the only example of actual passable rapping, although his singing still leaves much to be desired. Still, it’s the only time you can actually see a bit of personality to Hayes, well, personality beyond that of a completely self-absorbed asshole.

I can’t be fair to this album without highlighting the very few bright spots, and I’ve done that. That said, this is a terrible album and a slap in the face to country music. Walker Hayes is probably capable of more–see “Craig”–but he’s proven by his complete change of character since the Sam Hunt trend arrived that he’ll shape himself into anything that’ll sell. On his previous songs, he actually could carry a tune–it’s like he’s purposely forsaken his vocal ability to do this spoken word crap, and that’s all the more unfortunate because he can’t rap to save his life for most of this record. Plus, it’s not remotely country, and the challenge still stands if any of you want to try and contradict this opinion. Add to all that the fact that he comes off as a douche throughout a good chunk of this record, and yeah, it makes for a spectacularly awful listen.

P.S. And the title is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard…really?

P.P.S. If you want to purchase this, kindly go somewhere else. I love my readers too much to post such a link.

The Horrific

The Better